Used to-!

It´s been a while since I didn´t think about it...everything I used to think of....everything I used to be afraid of..., all that happened... and I never realized it so seriously.
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all used to be so happy...before.
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but now?..what now?
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is it happy-? is it sad-? is it boring-? is it complicated-?
what is it-?
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really i´m so out of this. I can´t find anything to make me think this life is for us to be happy.
life is so full of problems,of everything....and the thing that is behind all this is....LOVE.
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not precisely love of girl-boy,boy-boy,girl-girl.
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It can be;boy-money, girl-power, etc.
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you know love can be used for everything,
you can say you love your dog, and if he dies, you cry.
you can say you love money, if there´s a crisis, you cry.
you can say you love your boyfriend,if he leaves you, you cry.
you can say you love your cellphone,if it brokes, you cry.
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and don´t say no. people is so used to cry everytime and for everything.
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I used to say to my old boyfriend that I never cry, no matter what happened I always deny it, in fact tomorrow I may be denying it. but he knew. that apart everything I could say. of course I cried. and I cried a lot. and I cryed... when he leaved me.
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Now I can say I´m fully recovered from that. but that doesn´t means he didn´t let a big scar on me.
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because of him, now I´m too afraid of loving again someone. and believe me. before him, I was also afraid. but now I´m more.
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I used to be afraid of love, because I didn´t want to end like my friends that they cried a lot...and believe me A LOT.
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but the truth is: i never undestood them, I used to say that they were crazy for getting in love with someone you know won´t be in love with you because...crap... you´re just in highschool.!
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but now I get them. You don´t plan to get in love. It just happens...just....happens.
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but well.... I think I can say that now I wont let it happen... not until I´m 25 years old.
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and that friends... that is my promise.
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and it beggins.
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NOW
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babaee-!
CuRii-!